Zack's Anger Diary: Zack Solves the Supply Chain




Dear Diary …


I am here today to solve the global supply chain crisis. That’s right. ME! Not our world leaders or tech CEO Gods … they’re all busy fightin’ each other or flyin’ into space or whatever. So instead you get … this guy … radio man in southwest Virginia. And while that doesn't seem like a big enough man for the job, sometimes it just takes one little guy to make a big difference.


OK … here goes … here’s how we solve the supply chain issues …


Stop making new stuff.


There you go … problem solved!


Here’s a little pro tip from a total amateur … if you’re the company that makes Triscuits. And you can’t keep regular Triscuits on the shelves … you don’t need to introduce things like pumpkin spice flavored Triscuits. Nobody wants those anyway!


Just make ... gasp ... regular Triscuits. In this time of crisis, ain’t nobody looking for “cracked black pepper” anyway.


And if you make white chocolate flavored anything … just stop. The world don’t want your flavor. Spend that time making regular chocolate or just branch out and make car microchips or something. We need those way more than white chocolate anyway.


People … there’s a reason why we’re never out of cauliflower crust pizzas at the store … they’re stupid! Just make the things we actually want and need … and then maybe someday down the road you can have silly extra side products.


And for the love of God we need more regular alcohol at the store! Have you watched the news sober? OK to be fair I don’t recommend watching the news drunk either … but you definitely don’t wanna watch it sober.


We don’t need cotton candy flavored vodka right now … we need whiskey. More whiskey!


There. Supply chain crisis solved. If you’re a company that makes something people want or need … just make it. Don’t be wasting your time on flashy “new and improved” stuff. We just want “old and the same” and we want to see it on the shelves when we get there.


Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.