Zack's Anger Diary: Your WiFi Stinks!



Dear Diary …


I’mma tell you right now, we are at a point in society where certain things are just flat out unacceptable. Writin’ checks … there’s just no need for ‘em anymore. You got 247,000 other payment options that are way better than a random piece of blue paper with a bunch of lines on it.


Ice cube makers that suck at making ice. I mean what the heck is going on here? You’ve developed a product who’s sole purpose in life is to make ice, and it you don't even do that properly? You have like one job ... no ... you have ONE job ... MAKE ICE.


And why in the world are we still accepting that it will take 24-48 hours to fill that tray up all the way? Takin’ like 3 hours of the water freezing to [[clunk]] have 4 ice cubes get tossed into the tray. 20 minutes. Full tray. End of story.


But the one that gets me the most is that we are to a point in technology where it is absolutely, positively, unacceptable to have sucky wifi. If you’re gonna offer wifi, and especially if you DARE charge for it, it better be halfway decent wifi.


Ever pay for wifi on an airplane? Don’t. It stinks! And the free wifi is even worse … my Dad recently rode the train and their free “wifi” is like … 3. You know … like … mbps’s or whatever. Whatchoo gonna do with three? That ain’t even fast enough to properly tell you that you’re “unable to connect to the internet,” let alone do anything.


“Hey stay at our hotel … we have free wifi!”


Again … three.


That ain’t wifi! Heck … that ain't even dial up AOL.


I can to the store and buy me a cheap ol’ router and have perfect good wifi. There’s no reason why you can’t do the same. And if you can’t … then don’t offer it!


Here’s another thing that’s flat out unacceptable … lawns.


Who’s stupid idea was it to have lawns?


If I could have access to a time machine, I wanna go back and find the guy that decided we had to all have perfectly manicured and hard to maintain grass as our lawns and just eliminate him before he could come up with the idea.


Because here’s the deal … you spend all your time trying to keep that stuff alive … seed it, water it, mow it … and the biggest annoyance … keep out the weeds. Because man ... no matter what you do … those weeds will come back.


Which leads me to my point … why didn’t we make the weeds the lawn in the first place?


You never have to take care of them at all and they grow perfectly fine. You don’t even have to water them, and they still figure out a way to grow over and over and over again.


So why isn’t that what we choose for the lawn in the first place? See... we do it my way and I just gave everybody their weekend back of mowin’ … you’re welcome!


Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye