Dear Diary …
Let me ask you this ... Who set the rules in your house? Do you even know? Because I have no clue.
In my house, “iPad Time” apparently starts at 2pm. Why 2pm? I have no idea! I feel like maybe at some point I may have told a child they had to wait until 2pm on a particular day to use their iPad, but I never recall entering it into Castle Jackson Family Law. And yet it is.
2pm is now the single most recognizable time in my home. I could ask my son to do his homework at exactly 1pm and I can guarantee you he would “forget” unless I remind him. Meanwhile, when “iPad Law” kicks in at 2pm, you can be rest assured at 1:59 he’s counting it down like they’re dropping the ball on New Year’s Rockin’ Eve … 3 … 2 … 1 … Happy iPad Time!
Heck … I’ve seen him outside playing with his friends, and then start sprinting down the street at 2pm. I mean God forbid we spend an extra few minutes outside … not when it’s IPAD TIME!!!!
I also have no idea who set the rule that said every single meal must come with a dessert. And not just dinner … gotta have your “lunch dessert” too! Just randomly walking in the room with an ice cream cone at noon.
What are you doing?
“I’m having my lunch dessert!”
You ate one bite of a sandwich, and somehow that counted as lunch?
Sometimes when my son gets home from school his entire lunch is still in there.
Why didn’t you eat your lunch?
“I wasn’t hungry.”
OK well where’s the dessert?
“Oh I ate that!”
No child understands the definition of “I’m full.” I hate when they say “I’m full” at dinner, because they’re liars. They’re not full. They just don’t wanna eat regular food anymore. They want dessert.
“I’m full” is almost immediately followed by, “can I have ice cream?”
I thought you were full?
“Yeah … of dinner”
That’s not full! “Full” is full. So don’t use the word if you don’t mean it! Just say “I ate three bites of chicken and one pea and now I think I qualify for cupcakes.” Because we all know that’s what you're getting at anyway.
Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.