Zack's Anger Diary: Well Done is NOT Well Done

Dear Diary …

Our vocabulary is dumb. It’s as if when it was invented we were all drunk, and just started labeling things whatever we felt like. Take, for example, a “well done” steak. So we take a piece of beautiful meat, place it on the heat, and then hammer the crap out of it until it’s cooked beyond recognition and becomes a chewy gray slab of sadness. And then we call it “well done!”

Look … you’re free to order your steak to be prepared that way if that’s what you want. I don’t agree with you, but this is a free country and you have that right. But I will NOT sit silently by and let you order it with the label “well done.”

If my kid gets an A on their report card … that is a job “well done”

If I hear an amazing song on the radio … that music is “well done”

But if you wanna destroy a steak … that is NOT “well done.” You need to start ordering it “ridiculously overcooked.” Or you could say ... “bad job by me” or something like that. You can eat it … but you gotta own what you’re doing.

Here’s another thing that’s mislabeled … appetizers.

Now I love me an appetizer, but let’s not act like it’s actually something that somehow magically boosts your appetite for your main course. All we’re really doing is justifying our desire to eat some kind of delicious food that’s really really bad for us.

Think about it … if I said to you, “Hey there … I’d like you to eat four cheese sticks right now.”

You’d probably say, “Oh man … there is no way … that is just way too many cheese sticks to eat!”

Buuuut ... if I roll them in some breading, deep fry them, and serve them with some marinara sauce, now suddenly you’re like, “Oh hell yeah that’s exactly what I need to get myself ready to eat my dinner!”

This ain’t boosting your appetite or making you more hungry for anything else! Now … it’s delicious oozy cheese … but again … mislabeled

And finally .. can we all just band together and agree that there’s no point in labeling medications with flavors on them? Ain’t none of them tasting like grape, cherry, or bubblegum.

Call it like it is … purple colored gross medicine, red colored gross medicine, and pink colored gross medicine. The end.

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.