Zack's Anger Diary: The Forward Creep

Dear Diary …

Warning. We are being invaded by an evil spirit.

It lurks in your home … it hides in the shadows … and when you least expect it … it attacks. [scream]

That’s right my friends … I’m talking about the “forward creep.”

The “forward creep” is a beast that exists all throughout your home … the cabinets … the fridge … the dishwasher. And it is when people who don’t know how to do things properly are asked to put things away. Because what do these people do? They immediately stick an item in the nearest possible place … the front … and then leave it there.

So inevitably what you end up with is a shelf … a fridge … a dishwasher … or whatever … that looks like it’s TOTALLY full … but in fact there’s TONS of space in the back … it’s just that nobody ever bothers to put anything there.

My family loves the forward creep. You can be rest assured that if there’s a space in the front … they will fill it up immediately. But if there’s a space in the back? I’m not even sure they know if there is a back to things.

And I say this because even if there is stuff in the back … like say … an OPEN box of Cheezits. You can be rest assured that they will open a brand new box if it’s closer to the front. So I think they might actually be “back blind” or lack some sort of spatial recognition, because I’m not sure they can even see past the front of anything.

But it won’t stop them from complaining … “Oh the fridge is SO full!”

No. No it isn’t. Just the front 11% of the fridge is full. The rest is barren.

Here’s your life lesson people … you load from the back. I don’t care what it is … trunk … shelf … or underwear drawer … LOAD FROM THE BACK!!!!

Moving on Diary …

I understand that some things in life are going to be annoying, but can we at least get some consistency in the way things operate? There’s no reason why one direction should be completely uneven from the other.

And what I mean by this is pretty simple … if it is very easy for you to TAKE … then it should be very easy for you to RETURN. When I pay for something … you seem to be able to process that payment IMMEDIATELY and take that money from my account. But if I need to return that same thing? “Oh well sir it’s going to take 9-12 business days to process that request.”

And exactly why is that? You have the technology to immediately TAKE … so you should have the technology to immediately RETURN.

And further … if I can opt-in to something with a quick click of an “OK” button … then if should be just as easy to opt-OUT of that same thing. But NOOOOO … you wanna cancel something? You gotta call … you gotta sit on hold … you gotta fill out a form.

Look … I ain’t stupid … I know you do it because you know people are lazy and they’ll just keep paying for longer than they want to because they don’t feel like jumping thru all the hoops … but that doesn’t make it right ya scam-bag.

Oooh … “scam-bag” … I kinda like that as an insult. I’m gonna start using that more.

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.