Zack's Anger Diary: Stupid is as Stupid Does



Dear Diary …


I would start this entry by saying “we’re all smart people” … we’re not … (but you knew that already). Now I will say this … I do think everyone is smart in their own way about SOMETHING. I mean, no matter how dumb as a whole you might be, I’d like to think that you at least have a decent amount of knowledge on one topic in particular. Maybe you can’t math so good, but you know a lot about cars. Maybe you can’t talk to women to save your life, but you crush it at fixing a computer.


But what always amazes me is there is a way for us to be “instantly dumb” about one particular thing. It doesn’t matter how much of a wizard you are at using your phone … the SECOND you are handed somebody else’s phone, you instantly become stupid.


Two seconds earlier you knew how to do EVERYTHING on your phone, but now you’re suddenly like a caveman who just got thawed out of an iceberg and was handed an iPhone and told to use it. “Me don’t know where button is to take picture. How me hold this again???”


How does this happen? I mean ... yeah … all the apps aren’t in the same place, but our brain is like, “What are apps? Do you mean like potato skins? Those kinds of apps?”


And it’s not just an iPhone vs. Android thing. My wife and I both have iPhones. But if she hands me her phone, she may as well handed me a scroll of Egyptian hieroglyphics and asked me to decode them. How am I so stupid so quickly?


Oh and speaking of stupid diary … why do we let ourselves fall for stupid labels that we know aren’t even true? Take for example the label “best value” … it’s never actually the best value at the store. It’s just the most expensive version of the product. Oh but if you buy ten cans of beans, then it’s the “best value!” Yeah … for you. Now I gotta buy ten cans of beans just to save 9 cents per can. This doesn’t feel like the best possible value.


Or what about the stupid questions we allow to be asked? Ever gone to buy a car and been asked this one … “Well ...how much would you like to spend today?”


Honestly? Zero. I would like to buy a car for zero.


“That’s not what I meant. You can’t answer that?”


Yes I can. You asked how much I want to spend. In a perfect world, you hand me the keys and I drive away. So there’s my starting offer. Zero. Your counter?


Or what about in a job interview … “Where would you like your career to be in 5 years?”


Filthy freakin’ rich and retired and of course!


“Oh you can’t say that, it needs to be more realistic.”


And why does it? Am I supposed to say, “Well Gene … I just strive for a pathetic middle management position with no hope of advancement that I can then live paycheck to paycheck until I’m 70.” … is that the right answer?


Yeah … maybe I won’t be filthy rich and retired in 5 years … but that’s ALWAYS gonna be the plan until it finally gets here. Anything less is just loser attitude.


Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye



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