Zack's Anger Diary: Don't Respect Your Elders



Dear Diary …


You know how they always say things like “Respect Your Elders” and “Honor thy Forefathers?” Well I gotta tell ya … I’m not so sure. I mean yeah … we can respect previous generations. Absolutely. We should respect EVERY generation. Even those no good rotten Millennials deserve respect!


And really I kid about that. Millennials get a bad rap … “Oh they’re just a lazy generation that's young and dumb and doesn’t wanna work.” That is EVERY generation when they’re young. Cuz when you’re young … you’re dumb … and you don’t wanna work! I promise you there were 16 year olds in the Greatest Generation that were all, “Maaaaa … I don’t wanna go work in the fields. I’m just gonna sit here and look at the box of sticks I use as toys.” Every generation is lazy when they're young ... it's part of being young.


Oh and by the way … to all of you that keep posting that dumb thread about “it’s a fact that my generation was the last one to play outside and we didn’t have a phone in our hands all the time.” Oh please! I’m in that generation, and you know what we loved, watching tons of TV, playing video games, and talking on the phone until our parents yanked the cord out of the wall. Not to mention the fact that you probably posted that status on your Facebook page FROM YOUR PHONE and then sat there all day hittin’ refresh to see how many likes it got.


OK … but I’m getting sidetracked here. “Respect Your Elders” … why?


Sure … they did some things, but you ever tried to get plumbing and electrical fixed in your house when it was built by one of these old coot generations? What was wrong with these people? It was as if their goal was to make sure all plumbing and electrical was done in a way that it was impossible to get to later if you needed to fix it, and everything was installed at an angle that no tool can actually reach.


Why I gotta respect these people that treated the inner workings of my house like it was a funhouse maze that some poor future generation … i.e. ME … had to figure out? See? This is what happens when people don’t have video games. They treat the homebuilding process like it’s a video game and they're hidin’ Easter eggs all throughout the walls.


“Respect Your Elders” … FAHHH! And don’t even get me started on the Forefathers. I don’t know why people get so uptight about the Constitution. Yeah … it’s got some important stuff in there, but it was also written 250 years ago. I don’t even trust a cookbook that was written in 1987, so why am I gonna trust a document that was written during a time where guys thought it was cool to wear wigs and have wooden teeth? That’s like taking your investment advice from that weird man that sits on the bench outside the post office.


You wanna do that? Good luck! I’m all for learning from older generations, but let’s also not forget these are the people that thought you should put leeches on your body when you didn’t feel good.


Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.