Zack's Anger Diary: The "Wild" Animal Encounter


Dear Diary …

There are dog people. There are cat people. There are “no pet” people. Everyone is free to be whatever they wanna be.

I’m a dog person. I love ‘em and I think they’re great. I’m not a cat person. I hate ‘em and I think they’re mean. But that’s just my opinion … if you like cats … more power to ya. Go ahead and have cats, drink milk together, listen to Taylor Swift ... whatever. But a reminder … that is a YOU decision … and this decision should not impact me.

So when I’m sitting in my living room … minding my own business … and I have the front door open because it’s a nice day and I wanna have some fresh air … I should not have YOUR cat walk thru my front door!

“Oh hey … meow ... is this house taken?”

Get outta here!!!

To be clear … I don’t have my front door just open and exposed to the earth. I also have a screened in porch, but Garfield over here goes ahead wiggles thru that door and comes waltzin’ on into my house.

This is not my cat. I don’t wanna have a cat. And yet “cat person” thinks it’s perfectly fine to let their animal roam the neighborhood.

Something tells me if my dog walked on in your house, you wouldn’t be OK with that. So why is it OK to let your cat walk into mine, and hang out in my yard, and poop in my garage, and everything else?

And Diary, I know I’ve brought this up before, but I’m gonna keep doing it in hopes that eventually the cat people will listen. Pets are to be inside. If you don’t want them there, then don’t have pets! And if you wanna act like you have “outdoor pets,” then just let the raccoons root around in your garbage. Now they can be your buddies!

My wife says, "Oh it's a sign!" Yes ... it's a sign of how angry I get when there's a cat in my house. We don't need that kind of energy!

Ok … moving on Diary … can I just ask a quick question … why do washing machines have to be so stupid? As if laundry isn’t annoying enough, why does the washing machine then sit there and be all needy and demand that IT also needs to be clean?

You have one job … to clean things. So why are we then being asked to clean you separately? Can’t you figure that out for yourself? And I don’t wanna hear the reasonable explanations about why they get dirty … All that means is we know the problem at hand and the washing machine people need to figure it out.

I mean … where does it end? If I have to then get a washing machine cleaner, then what? Who cleans the cleaner of the thing that cleans the cleaner?

Ahhhh! You see what I’m saying here? And yes … I am saying something dumb, but I don’t care. Fix it!

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.

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