Zack's Anger Diary: When Is It MY Turn?


Dear Diary …

At the risk of sounding like a whiny little kid, “When is it my turn?”

Wait … I can do better than that … [WHINY] “When is it MY turn???”

As anybody with multiple kids knows, you live in a turn-based society. One kid gets to do something. Then the other kid gets to do it. And so on and so on until they pass out or move out.

Here’s my problem … it’s never MY turn. It’s only ever THEIR turn. How come grown-ups never get to be in the Turn Rotation?

I spend all morning watching some dorky YouTube channel my son likes, followed by an episode of Glee that my daughter wants, then dorky YouTube, then Glee. Dorky YouTube. Glee. Dorky YouTube. Glee.

And as my brain starts to melt I finally ask … hey … when is it my turn?

And both of my kids … the two humans that can never seem to agree on anything … both simultaneously say … “You don’t get a turn!”

What do you mean I don't get a turn?

And now they make me sound like “Stereotypical Hollywood Dad” because this is my house, my TV, my electricity, and yet I don’t get to have a turn? Oh dear God I’m the Dad in “Friday.”

How come I don’t get a turn? I want a turn!

“Your shows are boring”

Your shows are boring!!

Let’s not act like watching some dork play lousy video games on YouTube is any better than anything I watch. Even if my shows are boring … they ain’t any worse!

I want a turn!

Wait … let me try it again … [WHINY] I want a turn!!!

Moving on Diary … I’d like to just point out that we are all fools that believe the lie of “a couple of days.” We get told something will take “a couple of days” and then we just say, “OK … I believe you.”

Unless it's Amazon Prime two day shipping, nothing takes a couple days … especially if it has anything to do with your health.

If you don’t feel good, or you tweak a muscle, or whatever the heck else … it all takes a week. And that’s probably if you’re lucky.

Think about every time you get some random pain … it never goes away in “a couple of days” … that stupid thing lingers and lingers and lingers.

And that’s the kick in the gut (or lower back if that’s where you get the pain) … It only takes one second to go from feeling good to feeling terrible. But it NEVER takes one second to go from feeling terrible to feeling good.

Nobody is ever like “Oh man … I’m so sick … [PAUSE] … whoop … nevermind … I feel great now!”

You stink, human body! You take way too long to recover while also taking way too little to go downhill!

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.

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