Zack's Anger Diary: Don't Be Good at Anything

Dear Diary …

Young people … I have advice! That’s right … wise ol’ Uncle Zack (Or mean ol’ Uncle Zack … Or drunk ol’ Uncle Zack) has some words of wisdom. And I know this advice is gonna be controversial, but I don’t care.

I’m not gonna sit here and candy coat life for you and say stupid things like “You can be anything you want to be if you put your mind to it.” I mean ... it’s nice to put some effort into things and try to reach a goal, but let’s not act like your mind is some mythical entity with magic powers that automatically gives you everything you want.

Quite the opposite really because your mind is a lazy, second-guessing jerkhead that, if anything, does a really good job at holding you back. Unless of course your goal is to lay around on the couch, binge watch an entire season of Cobra Kai, and then just complain about how things at work aren’t the way you want them to be … well then your mind is AWESOME for this one!

Anyway … here’s my advice today for “the youth.” Kids … don’t be good at anything. That's right ... The worst thing you can do is be good at stuff.

“What??? What are you saying? How dare you tell them not to be all they can be!! They need to strive for excellence!!”

No … no they do not.

Now … you don’t want to suck at stuff … but you also don’t want to be super awesome at any one skill.

Why? Because when you’re really good at something, all your friends and family are gonna take advantage of that and make you do it all the time.

I’m a really good cook. So guess what happens? I gotta be the one who cooks. ALL … THE … TIME!

And there’s no escaping it. People come over … I gotta cook. But when I go to their house?

“Oh well I mean you’re such a better cook than me … do you mind making the food? You’re just sooo GOOD at it!

See?!?! See what happens when you’re good at stuff???

If you’re really good at planning a vacation … well now you’re everybody’s travel agent.

Really good at giving massages? Well now suddenly everybody’s back is “super sore” and needs your help.

And God forbid you’re good at fixing stuff. You’re dead!

So that’s right kids … don’t strive for excellence. Strive for okay-ness! That way you can get by in a pinch when you need to accomplish something, but nobody’s ever gonna hit you up to do it for them either.

You’ll never make anything of yourself, but everyone will also leave you alone.

Excellence is overrated my friends ... it just causes more problems than it solves. And the other kick in the teeth is a lot of times you're excellent and you still don't get anything out of it, so you might as well have been mediocre in the first place.

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.