Zack's Anger Diary #576: Tough Times, Schmuff Times

May 5, 2020

 

Dear Diary …

 

I’m gonna give you two words, and they’re gonna make your skin crawl the second you hear them. And that should immediately tell you that they need to go away and people need to stop using them.

 

“Tough times”

 

Yup … I knew it … you just got the heebie jeebies when I said them.

 

“In these tough times … just know that we can all come together and remember what’s important … buying products from whatever business is doing this commercial and using the words ‘tough times.’”

 

Look man … I get it. We’re all just doing our best here, and I know your heart is absolutely in the right place, but maybe we don’t wanna be reminded about it all day every day.

 

“In these tough times … just remember … sandwiches.  We sell sandwiches.  Please buy them.”  I don't want the reminder! 

 

Here’s two more words I’m just about done with … “Essential worker.”

 

And don’t even try to make it sound like I’m not grateful for people in the medical world that are risking their own lives to save ours.  Here’s the thing about them … they’re never the ones that say “essential worker.”  They just do it … they don’t need to remind anybody what they’re doing.

 

Instead it’s being used by other people as some sort of badge of courage … “Well you know … essential worker over here.  Gotta go to my essential job … uhh … selling mulch.”  Those are the people beating it into the ground.

 

Never trust anybody who showers themselves in their own accolades.  If somebody tells you “I’ve got a great sense of humor” … they ain’t funny!  Funny people don’t need to convince anybody that they’re funny.

 

And guess what?  Everybody who’s ever said “I’m not crazy” is a grade-A psychopath!

 

Never trust anybody that tries to give themselves their own labels.  I mean, have you ever met anyone that tries to give themselves their own nickname?  Yeah ... exactly. That person simply cannot be trusted.

 

And here’s another on … “Supply chain”

 

I don’t ever wanna hear about the stupid “supply chain” ever again.  “Oh you know, we got tons of food, but … um … supply chain … so none of it is actually in the store and toilet paper costs a million dollars.  Sorry about that … you know … supply chain.”

 

No!  Figure it out!  Every restaurant on earth has had to adapt and figure out a new way to get to their customer base.  You do the same and quit dumpin’ potatoes out in the trash “cuz we don’t know any other way to sell them.”

 

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.

 

 

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