Zack's Anger Diary #575: The Worst Place on Earth

April 28, 2020

 

Dear Diary …

 

You know what might be the worst place on Earth now?  The grocery store.  Man I used to LOVE going to the grocery store.  Saunter my way up and down the aisles (yes I said “saunter”) … think about what to make for dinner … search for amazing deals.  I had a great time.  Now … I hate it!

 

And before I dive down this rabbit hole … let me be super clear that I am VERY grateful for the employees that are there all day, every day making sure that their community gets fed.  This has nothing to do with you … so thank you for doing what you do. But just know … I can’t wait to leave you people!

 

I used to be someone that liked to shop on the fly.  Pop in on my way home from work, get what I need for dinner that night, and do it every couple of days.  Now I’m doing this whole “one big trip” thing, and it just takes FOREVER.  Not to mention that I’m shopping for my Mom too so she doesn’t have to go out.  So this Sunday between shopping, delivering, and wiping down every stupid grocery it took me two and half hours.  It was like an entire day spent at the grocery store!

 

And can I just ask the question we’re all thinking right now … how did everything magically get so expensive?  Oh … let me correct myself … not everything … just toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies, and vitamins … the things everybody needs to buy.  I mean … there’s finally plenty of toilet paper … but now every package is $12.  It's NEVER been $12.  Hmm … interesting.

 

Now I would totally understand if a restaurant charges a little extra right now for something because they’re struggling to stay in business, but the grocery store and the dang Clorox wipe people are making money hand over fist right now, so help me understand why I’m paying $6 for a bottle of cleaner that used to cost half that?  And explain to me how that’s not price gouging?  I mean … maybe it isn’t … but you’re gonna have to tell me how it’s not.  Aren't you making enough money? Why you suddenly gotta upcharge for everything?

 

And why are we totally out of the most random things?  I haven’t seen canned chicken at the store in a month.  Why?  Did the canned chicken people just stop working?  And it can’t possibly be hoarding, because anybody who’s ever eaten canned chicken before would agree that the stuff is nasty.  So there’s plenty of other better tasting foods in stock … we ain’t that desperate.

 

I just don’t understand how we went from “normal” to “1986 Communist Russia scarcity” in the span of about two weeks.  Sure … these are uncharted times … but that doesn’t explain why we’re totally out of cornmeal.  Last I checked, I dodn't see nobody making shrim and grits in their doomsday bunkers.

 

Ugh ... I used to like you, grocery store.  And now?  HADES!!

 


 

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