Zack's Anger Diary #565: All Hail Our True Leader

Dear Diary …

It is time that we all come together and recognize that we are ruled by an entity that is greater than all of mankind. We do our best on our Earthly plane, but we answer to a higher power. A power that truly controls us.

People of the Anger Diary … Please all rise up and come together to hail our leader … the almighty … the all powerful … iPad!

And call it whatever you want .. iPad, tablet, Xbox, phone … it’s whatever the device is in your house that is turning all of our children into wide-eyed drooling zombies as they worship at the altar of their one true leader.

Oh my God. I hate the dang things.

And it’s not so much the whole, “Oh they’re looking at a screen all the time. When I was a kid we played outside every day.”

Yeah yeah yeah … tell yourself that all you want … but we all still worshiped at the altar of the television. Which I’m not sure if you noticed or not … has a SCREEN. At least an iPad can offer some level of learning or convenience. We just sat around in our underwear watching Smurfs.

Of course … I say that … and really all my son does is sit around in his underwear watching YouTube. So nothing’s really changed.

I guess what I’m getting at more than anything is that I hate that I’M ruled by the almighty iPad. And look … I do my best as a parent. I ain’t perfect. I’m not gonna sit here and act all, “Oh I limit my kids’ screen time and I’m a better parent than you because you don’t.” That's not happening, but I at least try to keep it to a reasonable amount.

Problem is … when I try to cut it off for the day, I get met with the same thing every time.

“Hey … guys … I need you to go ahead and get off your iPads please.”

“One sec … I gotta finish this!”

Oh for the love … and it’s always “Hang on .. I just need to finish this,” and “this” is never anything of substance.

Just yesterday my son was playing some dumb game and said … “Hang on … I just need to put this egg in the downstairs shower.”

Put the who over to the downstairs what now?

“Hang on … I just need to finish this math game.”

Yeah … that I’d be OK with. And this ain’t that.

So don’t mind me … I’ll just be over here … waiting for all eggs to be put in downstairs showers.

Please … oh wise leader and mighty iPad … please allow me to be in charge for a half a second.

No? Welp ... Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.