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The Top 10 Old Lady Candies

August 2, 2019

Today we set out to create the official list of "Old Lady Candies" ... those weird candy concoctions that sat in your Grandma's purse, candy dish, or God knows where else.

 

After careful deliberation, we have come up with this ...

 

The Top 10 Old Lady Candies 

 

 

10. Black Licorice

 

Ahhh yes ... the candy that always made you say "Oooooh ... candy!  Wait ... licorice? NOOOOOO!!!!" If you could smell the Devil's breath, it's probably black licorice.

 

9. Regular Life Savers

 

Forget fruit flavors ... that's way too crazy!  We want candy that tastes similar to Grandpa's Icy Hot that he applies to his bunions!

 

8. Necco Wafers

 

I mean seriously ... who wants a candy that tastes like elementary school chalk?

 

7. Plain Ol' Butterscotch

 

Exactly what is this disturbing yellowish-orange color anyway?

 

6. Ribbon Candy

 

It looks like fancy wrapping from a Christmas present.  Tastes like it too.

 

5. Brach's Star Brite 

 

Nothing says "We just had dinner at a low grade buffet restaurant" quite like these old timey mints.

 

4. Werther's Original

 

To be fair ... these are delicious.  But they also make you older than dirt if you have them in your house.

 

3. The Strawberry

 

It's shaped like a strawberry, wrapped like a strawberry, and tastes nothing like a real strawberry.

 

2. Fruit Slices

 

You always know when a candy is labeled as "classic" it means "better candy has been invented since people actually ate these things"

 

1. The Mystery Purse Candy

 

What is it?  Is it a mint?  Is it a cough drop?  Is it a moth ball?  All I know is that when you were trapped in a long boring sermon at church, you didn't care what it was, you just wanted Grandma to give you thing so you had something to pass the time

 

 

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