Dear Diary …
Today I’m going to ask a very simple question … WHY?
That’s right. Three simple letters … W-H-Y. And I ask this because there are simply so many things in this world that just make me shake my head and ask … WHY??
For example … If I email you, and you email me back with the words “call me.” WHY?
Rule number one of modern interaction … Don’t jump communication mediums! If we are emailing each other, then we are EMAILING each other. If we’re texting … keep texting. Unless you’re driving and you’re afraid your gonna get a ticket or in an accident, that is the only acceptable time to jump communication mediums. In every other case, you gotta see it thru the way it started.
I mean … if you were Skyping somebody in the nude and bein’ all frisky, you definitely don’t want her to say, “Hang on, let me email you the rest of the story.” NOOOO!!!
“But Zack … it’s just easier for me to talk to you on the phone instead of having to type out a whole email.”
Yeah … but it’s easier for ME to just skim that whole email and figure out that I’m not interested in it and can ignore it. That’s WAY quicker than me having to listen to you blab on and on and on about it on the phone!
Diary … here’s another example … there was a bowl of lemons in the refrigerator at work .... WHY????
And not like, “Hey here’s some whole lemons in a bowl.” This was an uncovered pile of sliced lemons that were leftover from some gigantic jug of iced tea that was in the building. Why are we saving these?
“Well let me just save these lemons. The iced tea’s all gone, but maybe somebody would like some lemons.”
I’m sorry, but day old sliced lemons are garbage. And speaking of garbage, stop leaving random garbage on the counter in the work kitchen! Diary … I don’t know if it’s the same where you work, but we have this counter in the kitchen where people leave things as sort of a freebie to whomever wants it.
And that’s fine if you got cucumbers from your garden you’re trying to get rid of or maybe an unopened bag of chips or something, but people leave straight up trash on our counter. One day there was a bunch of old cell phone cases … all for phones that probably haven’t been used by any humans in 5 years. There were two for a flip phones!
“Oh thank heavens there’s a case for my flip phone! I’ve been looking for one for so long!”
Another time around Halloween there were four Dum Dums just sittin’ there.
Why you leaving Dum Dums out there? You got a leftover Snickers … fine. But ain’t nobody want your sad little lollipops with the question mark flavor wrapper all over them. (BTW “mystery flavor” is always the same … and that flavor is “meh.”)
Leftover Dum Dums are trash. Throw them away.
Old cell phone covers are trash. Throw them away.
“But what about these lemons?”
Throw them away!
Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.