Anger Diary #541: The Sarcastic LOL

I’m done with the attitude! It’s not clever, it’s not funny, and I don’t wanna hear it anymore.

And I know what you’re thinking … “Oh YOU’RE gonna be the one to tell me YOU'RE done with attitude … Mr. King of Attitude and Sarcasm?”

Here’s the difference … I do attitude CORRECTLY. And … you probably totally deserve it anyway, so I’m just doing a public service for the community. Look … sarcasm and attitude have a place in this world. A GREAT place actually. Sometimes they are totally needed to keep people in check.

That said … the sarcastic LOL has NO place in our society! It’s cheap and lame, and ain’t nobody LOLing about that.

If you are unfamiliar with the sarcastic LOL … let me explain. As you probably already know … LOL got its start as “Laughing Out Loud.” Somebody said something funny, and you thought it was funny, so you said LOL! Now … you probably weren’t ACTUALLY laughing out loud. And that’s totally fine, because if you did, you would definitely look like a psychopath starting at your phone and going HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

But the point was this … LOL was a good natured little phrase that meant, “Yes … I find what you said to be amusing.”

Now … it’s become the sarcastic anthem of the internet playground bully who says things like … “You totally messed up that tiny detail of your story. LOL.” It’s basically become the modern day “Ha Ha” to needlessly try to cut other people down for no good reason.

Because look here you sniveling little bully .. ain’t nobody LOLing at your snarky little comment. Yes … congratulations to you for using Google to find out one random little factoid that may or may not have been correct in the moment. And ... some detail that nobody cares about anyway. Bravo to you!

Oh … and the sarcastic LOL is usually followed up by some dumb comment like, “You should really do your research before you talk about things like that.” Do your research? What is this … an 11th grade term paper? Who’s doing “research” as a normal human?

“Hey … Zack … wanna meet us out tonight for Happy Hour?”

Oooh … sorry … I can’t. II was thinking of sending out some Tweets next week, so I gotta stay in and do some research. You know me … always doin’ research!

Don’t tell me to “do my research,” cuz you ain’t home researchin’ stuff either you mouth breather!

Actually … maybe you should be doing research. I’ll give you a topic … “How to elevate your level of comedy.” That one … that’s something that could really help you.

Now please excuse me while I go back to my extremely high brow and intelligent brand of humor as I giggle about how the phrase “penal code” sounds really funny. See? LOL! That's where the LOL gets used.

Oh man ... we are HIGH CLASS baby!

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye