Dear Diary …
Why do I sabotage myself? Why do we all sabotage ourselves? We know what we’re doing is stupid. We know how it’s all going to end. And yet we do it anyway.
For example … I don’t watch a lot of movies. I like movies, I just don’t seem to make the time to watch them.
And I can fill this story full of excuses like “I’m too busy to watch movies,” but that’s a lie. Everybody who says “I’m too busy” is a liar. Now I have no doubt that you have stuff going on. We all have stuff going on, but we also don’t fill every second of every day with meaningful stuff.
I mean … I’m sitting here writing this Anger Diary, but I also just spent the last half hour procrastinating and farting around on the internet. Oh … and I played Candy Crush for 45 minutes yesterday. So yeah … I’m not impossibly busy and neither are you. So don’t ever give me that “I’m too busy” excuse for anything, because I know you’re really just saying “I didn’t really wanna do that for you.”
Anyway … back to the movies and how I sabotage myself … because I sit down and think “hmm ... maybe I’ll watch a movie.”
And then I say, “Ugh … but a movie is like two hours. I don’t have two hours to watch a movie. I'm too busy. I need to watch something shorter, maybe a half hour.”
Four episodes of “Saved By the Bell” later and I’ve spent two hours watching absolutely nothing of value, and I could’ve TOTALLY watched that movie instead. And I knew this was going to happen from the start, and yet I did it anyway and totally sabotaged myself. Why?
It’s the same sabotage we all do when we do something like skip the gym. Our brain just keeps repeated over and over … “Skip the gym … skip the gym … you’ll be so happy you did.”
And then, like idiots, we skip the gym knowing full well what happens next. Our brain keeps repeating … “Ugh ... why did we skip the gym? Why did we skip the gyyyyyyym????”
Sabotage! And we knew it was going to happen from the very beginning. And yet we do it anyway. Even knowing full well the times we actually go to the gym, we feel SO much better afterward that we actually went.
But I can promise you even knowing this … we’re all gonna do it again anyway. And again. And again. And again.
So fear not Zack Morris … AC Slater … Kelly Kopowski and the gang … King Stupid will be there wasting way hours with you very very soon!
Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.