Zack's Anger Diary: The Kids Never Leave

December 18, 2018


Dear Diary …


We’re getting to the end of the year, so that means many of us are lucky enough to take a little bit of a vacation.  I am fortunate enough to one of those people.   And yet … I’m still gonna complain about it.


Don’t get me wrong … I am happy for the time off and I am grateful that I get to take it, because I know other people don’t have the same opportunity.  That said … I have one problem with all of this … the children.

Cuz they’re … THERE.


Except for ONE day … ONE measly day … the rest of my ENTIRE vacation … those kids are out of school.  And when I have time off from work, they are ALWAYS off from school.


And before you say … “You know the school calendar.  Just don’t take off the same time as them.”


Yeah … it ain’t that simple.  Because even when they are supposed to have school, they end up not having school.  I was off last Monday.  And what did we get?  15 and a half inches of snow … that’s what!


Last winter I took a week off in March … the kids had four snow days and one delayed day that week. And this happens EVERY time.


Look … I like these kids.  I mean … I LOVE these kids.  But Daddy also needs some me time.  Because when I don’t get me time, I AM NOT FUN DADDY!!!


The biggest problem here is because of my job, I can only take time off in the summer or the winter.  I won’t bore you with the details, that’s just the way it is.  So the summer (of course) that's a lost cause because they’ve got nowhere else to be.  And in the winter … well … we only really go to school around here for about 27% of the winter.  So it’s really hard to try to plan your days off around the weather.  And let’s be honest … sometimes the weather doesn't even matter around here.  


“Oh it might be cold in the morning?  OK … NO SCHOOL!!”


Ugh.  Is it too much for a father to ask to have his children disappear every now and then?  And I mean I want ‘em to come back … just disappear AT SCHOOL every now and then.


Moving on Diary … since we’re on the topic of kids … let me just present something to you because I don’t really even know how to deal with this Jedi Mind Control torture my son was putting on me the other day.


You see Diary … he wants to have a playdate.  ALL the time.  And I’m happy to have these playdates when possible, but he makes a lot of unreasonable and impossible requests like … “I want to have a playdate at …” (You know … insert whatever kid name you want here … we’ll go with Neal … which I understand is not really a kid’s name … but I just think it’s fun to say.)


Anyway … “I want to have a playdate at Neal’s house.”


OK … well … that’s up to NEAL’S parents.  I can’t just knock on their door and be like, “Hey, my kid wants to come over.  Thanks … bye!”

You gotta ask NEAL these questions.  Not me.


But he don’t understand that, and just keeps ridin’ me all the time.  “But I wanna go to Neal’s house!”  Yeah … well guess what … I want you to go to Neal’s house too, but that ain’t up to me!!


So here’s what happens … he’s sittin’ there the other day … and guess who calls?  Neal’s mom!  And she wants him to come over!

“Hey … guess what buddy? Neal wants you to come over for a playdate.  Whaddya say?”


And you know what he says?


“Hmmmm … let me think about it”


WHAT THE F&@&$&$#~!!!!!


OK, now you’re just screwing with me! I don’t even think he likes these kids, he just wants to mess with my mind!

That’s all I got … no other explanations or observations.  Just mental torture.


Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.



Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Please reload

RSS Feed

Text STOP to 52353 to opt-out