Dear Diary …
The world is filled with “too much or not enough” … It’s either way more than you need, or not nearly enough. And yes, we could get into a bigger picture argument about things like wealth distribution and how the super rich don’t need all the money they have while other people are totally broke, but we’re not gonna do that.
You know me Diary … I prefer to complain small. TINY little annoying things that I like to make a BIG deal about. And you know what? I think it’s OK to do that, because these tiny little things could easily be fixed, so I think it’s worth throwing a big ol’ hissy fit about them in hopes that something will actually get done.
I’m never gonna fix the uneven wealth distribution of the world, but windshield wipers? That one might be possible to pull off.
Here’s what I’m talking about …
Over the weekend it started to rain while I was driving, so I had to use my windshield wipers. I put them on the first continuous setting, but that one was JUST not quite enough to keep up with the rain. So I have to click it up to the next setting … the only other setting available on my car. And that one is … WAY TOO WILD AND CRAZY AND WHIPPING ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!
Now I look like a fool … barrelling down the highway in a relatively normal rain storm, but I LOOK LIKE I’M DRIVING THRU A HURRICANE TRYING TO ESCAPE TO HIGHER GROUND.
Why is there no middle setting? Why is it too much or not enough?
In your house … if you have a ceiling fan … that fan has three settings:
Setting #1: BARELY moving at all. To the point that you’re not even sure if you remembered to turn it on
Seting #2: Spinning around a little bit, but JUST not quite as much air flow as you would like
Setting #3: WHIPPING AROUND SO HARD IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S GOING TO COME LOOSE AND FLY OFF THE CEILING AND SCALP YOU WITH IT’S BLADES OF DEATH!!!!!!
Why is it always “too much or not enough?” This should be an easy fix! Medium, people. MEDIUM!!!!
Moving on Diary … I think we can all agree … life is too short to be wasting your time on silly things, right? So when I see them at the store, I think to myself, “Who on this planet actually wants to buy and eat a thin cut steak?”
When you have the option of enjoying a nice, thick, juicy ribeye … seared to perfection on the outside, and perfectly cooked on the inside … why in the world would you instead choose some sad little thin slice of the same steak that you can practically read thru?
If you try to cook that thing correctly on the outside, it’s gonna be shoe leather on the inside. And if you try to have it be correct on the inside, it’s gonna be an ugly, gray little slab on the outside. There’s simply no time that’s the right time for this.
And furthermore … this cow died for us. The least we can do is respect his sacrifice and cut him into wonderful cuts of thick steak instead of flappy little gray wings of sadness. C’mon!
Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.