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Zack's Anger Diary: The Ultimate Time Waster

June 12, 2018

 

Dear Diary …

 

Without a doubt, the most valuable resource any of us have is our time.  OK true, maybe some of you have a fancy pair of Christian Louboutin “Sex In the City” wannabe shoes that are pretty dang expensive, but TIME is something you simply can’t put a price on it.  

 

Start with the cold hard fact above all else … you only have a limited amount of it.  And when it’s gone … you’re dead.  No do-overs, no pause buttons, no nothin’.  When it’s done … it’s done.  So when you think of it that way … 1) It makes you wanna curl up in a ball and cry for a minute about how much time you've wasted, but then 2) It makes you wanna get out there and make the most of the time you have left.

 

But here’s the problem … most everybody else in your life works against this and tries to steal your valuable time.  Your boss makes you sit through a pointless meeting, your friends sucker you into helping them move on a Saturday, and your children … oh your children … I’m pretty sure it is their main goal in life to screw you out of all of your time.

 

When I am home with my kids, it is virtually impossible to get anything done efficiently.  And it’s not that they demand ALL of your time.  Oh no … it’s MUCH more sinister than that.  They demand of your time in tiny little inefficient bursts.

 

As I sit here and try to write this Anger Diary, my children have been asking me for something roughly every six minutes.  I’m over here, trying to get into my flow …

 

“Daddy, can I have a waffle.”

 

[SIGH] Fine.

 

OK … waffle made.  Back to the flow … let’s get this thing written … 

 

[[[Six minutes later]]]

 

“Daddy, I’m thirsty.  Can you get me lemonade?”

 

[LOUDER SIGH] FINE!!!

 

OK … here's your lemonade ... back to the flow ….

 

“Daddy, can I…..”

 

WHAT???  WHAT … WHAT … WHAT????

 

Can you just leave me alone for like 20 stinkin’ minutes so I can get this thing done?

 

So now here I am ... I have earbuds on … trying to drown them out. But I see them … they’re looking at me … and their demanding little mouths are moving.  I know they’re asking for stuff … and I’m just over here pretending "I don’t see you" in some sort of hope that they're gonna get the hint and leave me alone.

 

And do they ever get the hint?  Of course not!

 

Here’s another colossal time waster with children … when it’s bath time … my kids are always pulling this, “Can somebody come upstairs and sit with me?” garbage.

 

They don’t need me to help them with their bath.  They don’t even want me in the bathroom with them to talk to them.  All they want is for me to sit out in the hallway and wait for them to be done.  No interaction.  No talking or anything.  Just them privately taking their bath, while I wait outside the door like some sort of loser butler … “Your towel sir.”

 

So really all I’m doing is wasting time … precious valuable time.  

 

Oh OK … and it looks like I gotta go because one of them won’t stop mouthing something to me and I’m going to finally have to acknowledge their existence.

 

So … Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.

 


 

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