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Zack's Anger Diary: Let the Robots Win

November 28, 2017

 

Dear Diary …

 

You know me … I’m totally prepared that someday we are gonna have to deal with the robot revolution.  Or the zombie revolution.  Or the zombie robot revolution.  Whatever it is … I’m ready for the fight.

 

That said, there are certain things that I am ready to give up to the other side.  And when it comes to robots, I am here to tell you … It is time for us humans to STOP driving.  No more!  It’s time to embrace the robot car and move forward a happier race of people.

 

And the reason is simple … we suck at it!  No candy coating … we as a people are terrible at driving.

 

“Oh yeah … well that’s everybody else.  I’m a good driver.”

 

No you aren’t!!  You stink just like everybody else.

 

I’ve never met a human that actually admit to being the dodo that hangs out in the left hand lane driving 64 miles an hour.  So clearly … we suck at driving and we don’t even notice it.

 

I had to drive for the holiday weekend, and it was flat out brutal.  Accident … after accident … after idiot … after accident.

 

Plain and simple … we are just not good at driving.  And even worse, we are like those people back in the day on American Idol who didn’t know how to sing, but still stood up there and made idiots out of themselves because we THINK we know what we’re doing.  

 

And we absolutely do not.

 

It’s time to turn it over to the robots.  Let them do the driving and the world will be a better place.

“But I like the FEEL of driving!”

 

Oh whatever.  When you don’t know how to cook, you let somebody else make food for you.  Nobody says, “but I like the FEEL of holding the pan myself,” when they know darn well they aren’t that good at cooking.

 

And here’s the insane part … we have robot cars … and people have ZERO tolerance for them.  The robot cars get in ONE accident in an entire year and people scream, “That is UNACCEPTABLE!  We cannot take a chance with these machines!!!!”

 

Meanwhile I had to navigate my way around SIX human accidents in one three hour trip over the weekend.  And that’s on ONE road in ONE duration of time.  Lord knows how many accidents happened all over the country at exactly the same time.  Meanwhile, ONE robot car has ONE incident in it’s entire history and we are ready to shut them down.

 

I’m sorry, fellow humans, but you don’t know what you’re doing, and it’s time to let go of the driving.  It’s like when you had to wrestle away the keys from Grandpa when he got too old, except we’re ALL grandpa.  So give up the keys, Old Man!

 

And what the heck are you fighting for anyway?

 

Just sit there in the robot car and watch Netflix while somebody else does the driving.  What’s not to love about that?

 

Till next time Diary ... I say … goodbye

 

 

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