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Zack's Anger Diary: Pump Dumpers

October 17, 2017

 

Dear Diary … 

 

There are some criminals in this world where it’s blatantly obvious.  Murderer?  Criminal.  Thief?  Criminal.  

 

Then … there are those that are getting away with things that should be a crime, but they aren’t, and that’s about to change here in Zackmerica.  And today, I’m talking about you … Pump Dumpers.

 

Wait … Pump Dumpers?

 

I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself, “King Zack … what the heck is that?”

 

Well I’ll tell ya …

 

A Pump Dumper is a dastardly individual who drive up to a gas pump.  Fills their car with gas.  And then leaves it there while they go inside to whatever the heck they feel like for as long as they feel like.

 

They just dump their car right at the pump without any kind of thought or concern for anyone else that may wanna get gas.  Pump Dumpers.

And in Zackmerica … They are getting a direct line to jail.  Do not pass “Go.”  Do not collect $200.  You just go right to prison you filthy scofflaw.

How have these people become so blind to the world around them, that they don’t even notice what a serious offense this is?

 

Oh but I’m just running in to use the bathroom and get a drink..   It’ll just take a minute.  

 

Don’t care.  Pull you car up into a parking space and get out of the way!

 

If you were inside at the register and you were done paying for something, would you just stand there for five minutes and block everybody waiting behind you?

 

Who knows, maybe you would because you’re a filthy Pump Dumper, but I’d like to think that you wouldn’t.  Same rules apply here.  Get outta the way!  This ain’t that hard. 

 

OK … moving on Diary …

 

We have so many great technological advancements in this world, and yet at the same time, there are so many things that make me think, “This is 2017 … how is this not fixed by now?”

 

My son is sick this week.  So he had to go to the doctor and get a strep test.  This is 2017 … how is it that the strep test still consists of trying to jam a stick down his mouth to swab his entire throat?  There’s gotta be a better way!

 

And furthermore … This is 2017 … Why does the medicine he has to take still have to taste so awful?  Oh it’s bubble gum!  Yeah … mixed with awful!

 

Now I gotta spend 10 days begging him to choke down this disgusting pink sludge.  Science can make a hamburger out of vegetables that tastes like actual beef … and yet they can’t make this medicine taste less horrible?

 

And speaking of medicine … I can’t get this kid to take the liquid version of things like Tylenol.  So I gotta get the chewable version.

 

Answer me this … why do I have to give him two pills?  Do you know how hard it is to get a stubborn sick 5 year old to take even one of them?  So can’t you just jam all the medicine into that one?  Of course you can!  You just don’t … and THAT’S what I don’t understand.

 

It’s not that hard people … we should have these things figured out by now!

 

Till next time Diary … I say … goodbye.

 

 

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