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Zack's Anger Diary: Your Kid's Favorite Snack and IT Dad

June 20, 2017

 

Dear Diary …
 
Right now I’m going to make a correct prediction about EVERYONE’S child.  I don’t need to know any other information about them, other than the fact that they are a kid.  And with just that one nugget of information, I will correctly predict their favorite snack.  
 
That’s right … the Great Zackini … will use my magical psychic powers to correctly guess your child’s favorite snack.
 
And here it is … their favorite snack is … A new box of anything.
 
Doesn’t matter what the actual snack is … When you come home from the store and it’s a new box, or bag, or carton of [insert snack here] … that’s the one your kids wants.  Doesn’t matter that you have a box of the exact same snack that’s already opened in your pantry.  They don’t want that one any more. They want the new one.
 
An OPENED box? That’s peasant food.  I want the NEW snack!
 
See … My prediction was correct, wasn’t it?
 
Adios half eaten box of Cheezits … cuz there’s a new box and that one has Spiderman on it.  So now like a dodo, you gotta try to sneak the old Cheezits into the new box to trick that little heathen into eating them.
 
BY the way … I should add that I go to the store at least five times a week.  It often feels like every single day.
 
And despite that … you know what my son said to me this weekend?
 
“Daddy … you should go to the store more often to buy me things.”
 
Well thank you for the advice My Lord.  Your wish is my command!
 
Really what I’ve learned above all else is that I’m just the help.  And it doesn’t stop at the groceries.  The other job I’m so lucky to have been given … and this is from the entire family … wife included … is IT Dad.
 
If anything technology-related is broken, it’s time to call IT Dad to let him know that he better fix it right away.  And everybody always comes with the same garbage excuse of “I don’t understand all that technology stuff … you’re so much better at it than me.”  
 
Oh get out of here with those lies!!  You just say that because dealing with computer problems stinks and you don’t wanna do it.
 
And here’s the rub in my house … you know what my wife went to college for?  Computer Information Systems.  IT Wife!
 
“Oh but the technology is all different now.”
 
Well how do you think I figure it out?  I spend hours Googling things and watching YouTube videos … that’s how!
 
And the children … as usual are the unreasonable of bosses.
 
If the internet is down.  It is Dad’s fault.  I have no control over it, and yet if their precious iPad doesn’t work, I am to be held personally responsible.  You might as well blame me for when it’s raining, because I have about as much control over that as I do the internet.
 
IT Dad.  Worst job ever.  No pay, long hours, and you’re never allowed to quit.  Have a nice day!
 
Til next time Diary … I say .. goodbye

 

 

 

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