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Zack's Anger Diary: Liar Fruit and the Robot Takeover

June 13, 2017

 

Dear Diary …

 

In theory … this is the time of year to really start enjoying the bounty of Mother Nature with ALL kinds of fresh and delicious in-season fruits and vegetables.  And you can totally do that … if you happen to have a garden or a really good Farmer’s Market.   But if you rely solely on the grocery store, you are set to become a constant victim of what I call “The Liar Fruit.”

 

I get bitten by The Liar Fruit all the time … especially when it comes to anything in the berry family … straw, blue, rasp … any of those berries, whatever it is.  You sit there at the store … look at the package and think, “Alright … looks good.”

 

Maybe you’re like me and you even flip the package over and check out the bottom to make sure everything looks good there as well.  

 

“Yup … this’ll do.”

 

And then you get home and get totally burned by The Liar Fruit … that one stupid moldy berry that’s hiding right in the middle of the box.  Doing it’s best to destroy every other berry around it with it’s fuzzy mooshy nastiness. And naturally it’s tucked WAY in there, so you don’t notice it’s destruction until it’s already ruined half the package.

 

Same goes for that bag of lemons.  Every single time I buy that thing … they all look fine when I inspect it, and then within a day one of them has turned the same color as a golf ball and is tainting every lemon in the bag.  

 

Screw you Liar Fruit!

 

And don’t even get me started on the amount of times I buy a melon and then later get to find out that I have a crunchy flavorless orb of sadness sitting on my counter.

 

Is it too much to ask to have consistent quality in the produce you purchase?  I don’t think so.

 

OK … moving on Diary …

 

I have no doubt, that technology is out to get all of us.  Really it’s the robots.  Eventually they will overthrow us all and become rulers of the planet, and we will simply be their humanoid servants.

 

But here’s the thing … the robots are smart.  It’s not gonna happen all at once.  They are gonna take over very slowly and patiently, and we probably won’t even notice that we’ve handed the control over to them until it’s too late.

 

Right now … they are on a mission to expose us.  All my technology has been attacking me this week.  Every app I open … “would you like to share your location?”  No.  Next time I open the same app … “Would you like to share your location?”  NOOO!!!

 

And for whatever reason this week, my phone is determined to have me accept “read notifications” on my text messages.  “Don’t you want people to know that you’ve read their text?”  Absolutely not!  Stop asking!

 

But apparently clicking no isn’t enough … it asks me over and over and over and over again.  It’s trying to expose me!   Eventually I’m either gonna give in and hit “yes,” or accidentally hit y”yes” when I mean to hit “no.”

 

That’s how the Robot Revolution will begin … every location service, push notification, read notification and so on will expose all our secrets to our fellow humans.  Then … That will then cause stress, tension, and arguments, which will then lead to yelling, fighting, and eventually war.  

 

And then the robots will be called in to help fight the war, and they will turn on us humans and take over the Earth.

 

You think I’m nuts?

 

Well I might be, but just remember the “I told you so” when you’re wearing your shiny robot obedience collar and working for Uniblab 2000 in the robot fields.

 

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye

 

 

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