Angry Tuesday brings us an all-new Zack's Anger Diary.
Today's entry ... "The Gigantic Birthday List"
Dear Diary …
Did you know that my son’s birthday is coming up soon? I did. Because he’s been reminding me every day since the day after Christmas … letting me know ALL the toys he wants for his birthday. Oh … and by “soon,” I mean that his birthday is “three months away.” So … actually I have about 90 more days to hear about what he wants for his birthday.
Oh and in case you were wondering what he wants for his birthday, I can tell you … Everything. He wants absolutely everything.
If he sees a commercial on TV … Daddy I want that for my birthday.
If he sees a LEGO set in a catalog … Daddy I want that for my birthday too.
If he watches a YouTube video with an ad on it … Daddy I want that for my birthday too!
So there you go … that’s his list. “All”
He even came to me last week and said “Daddy we need to make my list for everything I want for my birthday.” And I look over and see him holding a gigantic piece of art construction paper … like he’s making his own billboard.
I mean … at least he’s aware that it’s going to take a piece of paper that size to write down the sheer volume of everything he’s expecting to get. And that’s the problem … his expectations are huge.
So yeah … looking forward to that day in three months when his expectations are crushed. Happy Birthday!
Moving on Diary … I keep my computer in the basement. That’s the office space in the house. It’s where I go to pen my genius that is … well … this. And the reason for having the computer in the basement is obvious … I need to be able to hole up in my creative cave so I can create said genius.
The problem, Diary? As I write these things to you right now EVERYBODY IN MY HOUSE IS STANDING DIRECTLY BEHIND ME AND DRIVING ME INSANE!
I’m down here in the cave, people! You know, penning that genius and stuff, and all I’m getting is 27 different voices in my ear.
[[[A mumbled mess of insanity you probably just need to listen to on the attached audio]]
This is not helping. I mean … Diary … this ain’t genius! Listen to this! I don’t even know what I’m typing anymore because I can’t concentrate to save my life. And every time there’s finally a quiet spot and I think … “Ahhh … OK … now I know what to say…”
[[[More of said insane blabbing of voice]]]
Yup … so this is pretty much the best you’re gonna get. Enjoy!
Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye
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