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Zack's Anger Diary: Power Nap Crap

November 1, 2016

 

Dear Diary …

 

We get lied to all the time in this world … especially with promises like “Here’s the miracle diet,” or “Here’s the secret to living to be a hundred years old” … things like that. They sound good in theory, but ultimately nobody knows what they’re talking about and they’re pretty much full of it.

 

Like this one … the concept of The Power Nap.

 

On paper … it sounds like a great idea … You just need to take a quick 15 minute nap and you will feel totally refreshed. In fact, it’ll be even more refreshing than a longer nap because your body doesn’t fall into a deep sleep.

 

OK … that all SOUNDS great … but have you ever tried to actually take a power nap? It’s impossible!

 

And maybe YOU can magically pull it off in your world, but for me, here’s what happens …

 

I lay down. And since this is only a 15 minute nap, I obviously gotta set an alarm. So I set it for 15 minutes.

And immediately my brain says …

 

“OK gotta fall asleep right away we only have 15 minutes better hurry up or we aren’t going to be able to fall asleep and get the 15 minutes and now it’s 14 minutes and we’re running out time and we need to fall asleep and now it’s 13 minutes and maybe I should reset the alarm for another two minutes back or it's not going to be an appropriate power nap and not I’m gonna get enough of the nap and I don't know what to do and now it's 12 minutes ... I can't sleep!”

 

This is not relaxing!

 

And even if I do manage to fall right to sleep, you know what happens when my alarm goes off 15 minutes later? I want MORE!

 

I don’t springeth from my slumber all rejuvinated and ready to tackle the rest of the day. My body says …

 

“Hey that was awesome … gimme like four more of those!”

 

And then I’m out cold, no alarm to save me, and I wake up an hour and a half later in the foggy cloud of nap brain.

 

Thanks a lot power nap! You don’t work at ALL!

 

Moving on Diary … Here’s a phrase I’d like banned, and then erased from the English language so it can never be found again … “Remind me.”

 

Oh I hate that phrase. Because it’s abused by lazy people that don’t want accept responsibility for anything in their lives.

 

“Oh remind me so I don’t forget.”

 

NO!

 

YOU remind you!

 

Because I know what you’re doing …. You’re saying “I’m going to forget. And the only way I’m going to do the thing that I’m supposed to do is if YOU follow up.”

 

So why is it now my responsibility to remind you? Who reminds ME to remind YOU? So if I can remember, you can remember.

 

And furthermore … we all got phones now that have a little thing in them called “reminders." So if you need somebody to remind you, then you tell your robot slave to do it, that’s what she’s there for!

 

Or here's a crazy idea ... take responsibility for once in your life and do what you're supposed to do without being told a second time.

 

Till next time Diary .. I say … Goodbye

 

 

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