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Zack's Anger Diary: Your Bad Parenting

October 4, 2016

 

Dear Diary …

 

We are all failing as parents. OK … not ME … I’m killin’ it … but way too many of YOU are ruining everything. And here’s the problem … it’s not becaue you’re not doing enough as a parent. It’s that you’re doing TOO MUCH, and you are taking us all down with you. Honestly we are giving these kids too many things, and they need to be knocked down a peg or four. They rule our lives!

 

Diary … one of my best friends has two kids … little bit older than mine … and the oldest one plays soccer. So guess where my friend was at SEVEN AM on Saturday morning? A soccer game.

 

Why are they scheduling soccer games to start at 7am on a Saturday? And why as parents are we allowing them to do that?

 

I’ll tell you why … because too many parents today have decided they’re gonna be Supermom and Superdad. They cease to exist as the humans they once were, and now they just become tailgate-chair toting zombies that spends every evening and every weekend at kid activities.

 

And they all say the same thing … “My babies come first … I’m all about my kids.”

 

You know who else says stuff like that? Brainwashed people in cults. “It is for the love of our leader. We put our leader’s needs before that of our own.”

 

You’re an alien! Whoever you used to be … GONE! Now you’re just a mindless cyborg cheering at a 9 year old’s soccer game like it’s game seven of the World Series.

 

You know what I used to do with my parents at 7am on Saturdays? Nothing … cuz they were asleep! And something tells me that if I had an activity that started at 7am, suddenly I'd have a NEW activity that replaced that one the following weekend.

 

Now we spend our weekends driving five hours for cheerleading competitions, or gymnastic meets, or whatever the heck else we sign these kids up for. And seriously … why are all these weekend-long competitions five hours away in the middle of nowhere? Can we not have local competitions at least?

 

Hey … I’m all about being a good parent and doing stuff with my kids, but not ALL the time. Ew!

 

I still wanna be me, not dork Dad in a polo shirt who stopped being fun and sexy six years ago and now just watches Golf Channel and falls asleep in his chair. Not doin’ it!

 

And I’m not sure why so many of you are OK with this. I go to my kids' functions and I see so many Moms where I think … hey you look like you used to be hot and fun. What happened?

 

Now you just look like everybody’s plain Aunt Janet. You know, the one who tries to get out on the dance floor at wedding receptions to “do that line dance all the kids are doing.” “Is this how you nae-nae?”

 

Barf.

 

I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but I do … it IS possible to be a parent AND still have some semblance of your original personality.

 

This is why people who don't have kids hate us parents so much. We're lame! Don't settle for lame!

 

Till next time Diary, I say … goodbye.

 

 

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