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Zack's Anger Diary: I'm Gonna Use the P-Word

March 8, 2016

 

Dear Diary …

 

Alright … I’m gonna do it. This is probably a terrible idea, but I’m gonna do it anyway. I’m gonna use the P-word …

Politics

 

[[[Insert panicked screaming and chaos that you would totally be hearing right now if you were listening to this Anger Diary as opposed to just reading it]]]

 

OH MY GOD!!! WHY IS HE DOING THIS??? I NEED TO FREAK OUT NO MATTER WHICH SIDE I’M ON AND WHO I’M VOTING FOR … AHHHH!!!

 

OK breathe …

 

We can do this.

 

And as shocking as it may seem … I actually think I have something to talk about here that we can ALL agree on.

 

This whole primary thing that we got going on right now … Can we all just band together and agree that this thing is stupid?

Why are we dragging it out for so long?

 

Look … it made sense back in the 1800’s when the candidates had to take a wagon to each state just to go talk to people.

Of course it had to be spaced out! Heck … it took three days just to “travel into town” to buy a goat pr whatever it was. They needed time for stuff.

 

But now … we don’t need the time. All it does is draaaaaag everything out … month of painful month of having to listen to these toolboxes fight with each other over every little thing. Nothing that’s been done in these past six month couldn’t have been covered in about two or three Skype interviews to the whole country.

 

And what’s worse … let’s admit it … most of us don’t really pay much attention to any of the actual facts or details of these different campaigns. So when one person does well in the first few primaries, we are all just a bunch of followers that fall in line and start voting for that person. And even if there’s another candidate you like better, you think “Well he doesn’t really have a chance, cuz he didn’t win Iowa, so I’ll just vote for the other guy instead.”

 

And by the way … the states that are leading the way … like Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina … THESE are the states we are letting be in charge of picking the potential leader of the Free World?

 

What is wrong with us? If you were buying something online … you would never say “Well … let me look at the reviews of this product before I spend my money, but let me only pay attention to reviews from people who live in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina.”

 

You wouldn’t do that!

 

And that’s for buying pants … meanwhile this is for PRESIDENT!!!!! We’re insane that we let this happen!

 

The amount of time … and money … WASTED by this whole stupid process that the majority of Americans would be happy to have eliminated anyway is ridiculous.

 

Two votes … two weeks apart. Half the country one time ...The other half the next time. And two debates … one before each vote. There … done.

 

I just saved us all about a hundred million dollars and six months of aggravation.

 

It’s not that hard. The problem is … we have created a powerful legion of morons that run this country, and its virtually impossible to crack thru. So instead … you gonna just have to watch that one lady you don’t like take on that other guy you don’t like for the right to compete against some other guy that you don’t really like much either. ‘Murica!!!!

 

There .. I talked about the P-word and we didn’t go crazy, right? Oh wait … you’re already constructing signs and planning the anti-Zack rally? [[SIGH]] OK … nevermind.

 

Till next time Diary … I say goodbye.

 

 

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