Zack's Anger Diary: Merry Christmas Whether You Like It Or Not

Dear Diary …

Merry Christmas … whether you like it or not!

That’s right … I am here to send this Christmas greeting to you and you are gonna sit there, and you are gonna take it. End of story.

I am so sick and tired of people automatically whining, “It’s too early for Christmas.”

Yeah you’re right … Shame on us for celebrating the most wonderful time of year for as long as possible. The one about peace, and love, and giving. Yeah … let’s not drag that one out at all.

Well I thumb my Yule Log at you!

You know what I’m doing while I write this? Listening to Christmas music.

Which by the way ... let me be the one to break the news to you … There are going to be radio stations that start playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving, like they do every single year. So from now till the end of time, that's going to happen.

Why is that such a shock to some people?

“I can’t believe they’re playing Christmas music already!”

Do you have amnesia from last year or something? Cuz this is nothing new. Year after year, it happens.

And let me let you in on another little secret … the people who say “I protest … I won’t listen!” Yeah well there are these things called "ratings," and even though everybody claims not to listen, these "ratings" seem to magically go higher. So SOMEBODY’S listening.

And don’t get all “we’re skipping right over Thanksgiving and going right to Christmas” on me. I’ll stop you right there, because I love me some Thanksgiving. I love it so much, I’m gonna do things with gravy on Thursday that would make your grandma faint. That's how much I love Thanksgiving.

Best day of the year! It’s all about food and you don’t have to buy anybody any presents. It’s like Christmas without all the errands. What’s not to love?

But the reality is, there aren't really any Thanksgiving songs to soak in other than "The Thanksgiving Song." So I gotta skip right to Christmas.

And you know what? I have figured out a way to celebrate Thanksgiving and [[GASP]] listen to a Christmas song in November at the same time. Amazing!

You know what it is? A lot of people are looking to just complain about something, and this is a very easy one for them to comp,lain about. But here's a fact … There’s a lot of crappy things going on in this world, so maybe it isn’t such a bad thing if we all get together and celebrate good things like Christmas for just a little bit longer than we did in the past.

Am I right, or am I right? Cuz I'm right. I know I'm right.

I'm not modest, but I' right.

Till next time Diary, I say "Ho Ho Ho Merr..." (OK that's a bit much, but you get the point).

Till next time Diary ... I say ... Goodbye.