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Zack's Anger Diary: Confederate Flag, Gay Marriage, and other light topics

June 30, 2015

 

Dear Diary …

 

So over the weekend ... I don't know if you noticed this or not ... but apparently everybody lost their stinkin’ minds. Oh my!

Confederate flag this. Gay marriage that. If you use Facebook at all, you know one thing for sure ... we are an angry bunch.

 

The best way I can describe Facebook this weekend was that it was was giant backyard … and the owners of this backyard had three REALLY big dogs … and their dog poop was all over that yard. So everywhere you turned … you stepped in it.

 

And here’s the thing for somebody like me … I kept seeing this quote over and over again, “Oh Zack … can’t wait to hear about this in the Anger Diary on Tuesday.”

 

So here’s my question back … How?

 

How in the world am I supposed to navigate this doo doo mine field of a mess? No matter what I say, I’m gonna step in it.

Here, let's try it ...

 

So the Confederate Flag … AHHHHBHBLUBLUBLUBLAHBLAHBLU!!!

 

OK that one didn't work.

 

Gay marriage … AHHHHBHBLUBLUBLUBLAHBLAHBLU!!!

 

So intense. We all just need to stop … take a breath … and calm the heck down.

 

I like the Anger Diary way better when I’m complaining about things like “Man I hate it when my ice cream cone is all drippy on the bottom.”

 

Those are the good ol' days, or like when we can all just band together and fight back against true evils like yard sale shoppers and left lane huggers.

 

This stuff? No thank you!

 

Here’s the thing … above all else … And I know this is gonna sound crazy, but … We’re all allowed to think differently and have different opinions.

 

And we seem to have that part down because we love to disagree. The problem is we forget the other part of this … somebody can have a different opinion … AND … keep it.

 

Not us … you disagree with me … You must be lobotomized and reprogrammed into thinking exactly like me. You know … they’ve tried that whole “everybody think and act alike” thing in countries before … it hasn’t really worked out. Unless, of course, it’s just the plot of a really dreary movie. Hello … Hunger Games anyone? Yikes.

 

And one more thing … sometimes … It’s OK to keep your opinion to yourself. I mean, I know Facebook says “What’s on your mind?” right there in that little box, but they don’t really mean it.

 

It’s sort of like when you see a coworker in the hall and you say “Hey … How are you?”

 

You don’t want him to say “Well actually I had a really terrible weekend and I think I’m coming down with the flu and my wife is divorcing me.” You don't want that. You just want “Fine. You?” Just because it says "What's on your mind?" doesn't mean you have to share what's on your mind.

 

I’d also recommend a little self-editing. For example … If you start a Facebook post with “I’m probably gonna lose some friends over this, but here goes …” Don’t keep going! Stop right there … shut the little internet box … and chill the heck out.

 

I’m startin’ to think this is all one big conspiracy put forth by the Ice Bucket Challenge people to get us all to realize … maybe that wasn’t so annoying after all and we should go back to the days when that’s all you saw online.

 

Everybody … breathe with me … AHHHHH! There … that’s better.

 

Till next time Diary, I say goodbye.

 

 

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