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Zack's Anger Diary: No Hustle

April 28, 2015

 

Dear Diary …

 

We’re all in this together, right? The world is a crazy place. So if we don’t have each other’s backs … we’re screwed! Right?

 

It seems like the obvious answer to these questions is “yes … we’re all in this together,” but if we are, then why are so many of you showing no hustle when it comes to a green arrow?

 

You know … green arrow … at a traffic light. The quickest of the traffic lights. So when that thing turns green … you gotta punch it Margaret and show me some hustle so we can all make it thru this stinkin’ light together!

 

And this seems like common sense, but all last week I’m just trapped behind … slow … and … steady … take … my … time. C’mon man … I wanna get thru this light too! Move it!

 

Nobody hustles anymore … for anything.

 

At work … doo bee doo bee doo … doin’ my job … as slow as possible.

 

Crossing the street … walkin’ reaaaal … sloowwwwww

 

Pick up the pace slackers! You don’t have to move all crazy, but we’re on this Earth for a limited about of time, I don’t wanna spend my precious time waiting for your meatball sub legs to walk across the street. Hustle!

 

OK … moving on Diary …

 

I’m pretty sure every kid on Earth has the same thought about their parents … That they’re idiots. They all think we’re just dumb, oblivious humanoids that were only put on this Earth to make rules and mow the lawn.

 

I know that’s what my kids think … that I’m some fool that falls for their little games.

 

Like my son … he’s three … and he thinks he’s tricking me into giving him milk at times he’s not supposed to ask for milk.

Cuz what he does is he doesn’t directly ask for milk … he just says …

 

“Hey what’s in da refrigerator?”

 

I don’t know, what's in there?

 

“Is it milk? You got milk in there?”

 

Yes … there’s milk in there.

 

“Is it cow’s milk? You got cow’s milk in there?”

 

Fine … here’s your milk. But don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing here.

 

My daughter takes a different approach … like when she wants a snack and it’s not snack time …

 

“Hey Daddy!”

 

Yes?

 

[[[[Mumble mumble Cheez-Its?]]]]

 

What was that?

 

[[[[Mumble mumble Cheez-Its?]]]]

 

Yeah … I hear Cheez-Its in there. And she just points her little finger at the box. [[[Mumble mumble Cheez-Its?]]

 

Fine … here’s your Cheez-Its. But again … let me be clear … you ain’t tricking me into this. I’m giving you these things because I choose to give them to you. Not because you’ve … [[robot voice]] tricked … humanoid … robot … Dad … again.

 

I might be dumb, but I ain’t THAT dumb!

 

Of course, when you think about it, they are getting exactly what they want at the time they aren't supposed to have it, so [[[robot voice]] Maybe ... I ... am ... the ... idiot.

 

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye

 

 

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