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Zack's Anger Diary: Team Droid vs Team iPhone

November 25, 2014

 

Dear Diary …

 

We are a country divided. We have been thrown into two opposing groups that are constantly at odds with one another. You’d think we could all just get along … but oh no … our disagreements run passionate and deep.

 

And we find ourself in these two distinct camps. Camps that as time goes on, seemingly can’t agree on even the most simplest of issues.

 

And those camps are … of course … Droid people and iPhone people.

 

What? You thought I was gonna say Democrats and Republicans? Oh man … it’s WAY easier to get those two groups to get along than Droid vs. iPhone.

 

I mean … full disclosure … I’m team iPhone. I like it better, and I think it’s better. And you would think, that would be the end of it. We could just agree to disagree and move on.

 

But I gotta be honest … Team Droid … You just never let it go. Droid people got some kind inferiority complex where they are constantly working overtime to prove to you how much they love their Droid.

 

Great example happened to me the other day … I went into my email and managed to clean the whole thing out. 500 messages … all the way down to 3. And because I’m a dork … I was also very excited about this, and I shared it in a status update on Facebook.

 

And after posting that update, the first comment I got was this … “Must have an iPhone. Yep … Love my Droid.”

 

Wait … what?

 

This had nothing to do with my phone. What are you trying to prove?

 

But that’s Droid People for ya … They are dying to remind you “Love my Droid!” even when you didn’t ask.

 

“Hey I heard we might get snow tomorrow”

 

“Yeah … if you have an iPhone. Yep … Love my Droid.”

 

Look … all nerdy technical arguments about the two phones aside … you do realize that this makes you look desperate, right? Why you gotta try to prove to me all the time how much you love your Droid? Why aren’t you just comfortable with your Droid? Why do you need to prove to the world that you love your Droid?

 

You’re like the husband and wife … The ones that always go out of their way to try to prove to everybody how happy and secure their relationship is. And then what happens? Divorce cuz they hate each other ... that's what!

 

Look ... I understand … Droid’s your wife, and you wanna cheat on her when you see my sleek young thang that is this iPhone. No I love my wife … I swear I do. Look how big her screen is … it’s way bigger than yours. Love my Droid!

 

It’s OK darling … I inderstand the truth, and I won’t tell anybody.

 

And on the bright side ... even if we do continue to fight one another, Team Droid and Team iPhone can come together and agree on one thing ... Blackberry? BWAHAHA!!! Ohhhh man … at least we aren't THOSE people!

 

Till next time Diary … I say … Goodbye.

 

 

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