Zack's Anger Diary: You Can't Please Anybody

Dear Diary …

You cannot please anybody these days. No matter what you do … no matter how careful you are to spare other people’s feelings ... Somebody’s always gonna get mad. Boo hoo hoo.

Not that I even care what people think. Honestly, I gave that up a long time ago and my life is a lot better for doin’ it. But I also don’t wanna hear your lip … it's just annoying. Cuz whiners love to whine … about EVERYTHING.

Now I’ve been known to dabble in the advice columns … Miss Manners, Heloise, Dear Abby … I enjoy other people’s problems. They make me feel better about myself where I can think … well at least I ain’t THAT person! It's good therapy.

Plus I like to read the advice, because a lot of times I disagree with it.

Anyway ... I stumble across this letter from a woman who’s all mad because she and her husband were out to dinner with their little kid. And while they were eating … a random stranger went to the family at the table next to them ... who also had a kid … and told them that their kid was sooo beautiful and well-behaved.

I assume you’re thinking, “Where’s the problem here?” Well … she was furious that this woman didn’t ALSO compliment HER child for being beautiful and well behaved. How DARE she not compliment BOTH children!!!!

You gotta be kidding me! Like it’s some sort of law that you can’t just compliment one kid … now you gotta compliment ALL the kids within earshot so nobody gets their feelings hurt.

Here’s a crazy idea … maybe your kid’s got a big head. And that’s fine … I’m sure he’s a great kid … but maybe also weird looking. And even if he wasn't, the point is you don't have to compliment the one kid just because he's near the other kid.

Here’s the reality … not everybody in the world gets to have everything. And … just cuz you want something … that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to it.

Like here’s a story involving me. Recently I had to fly somewhere. Doesn't matter where, because flying stinks everywhere.

It’s expensive, the airlines are mean, the airport is filled with sick people who like to cough and blow their nose all over the place. The whole thing is a miserable experience.

And the airlines like to make sure they deliver on this promise of misery. So ... my flight got cancelled and I got bumped to standby on the next flight, along with a bunch of other people. In particular a woman, who for the sake of this story, we call call “Angry Old Lady.”

Now Angry Old Lady wants to get on the next flight. Heck … we ALL want to get on the next flight. But we are now at the mercy of the airline and which names they decide to call.

Well … turns out they call my name and not Angry Old Lady’s. And she is FURIOUS. With me! What did I do? I’m just standin’ here, havin’ my name called. I don't make the order. It’s not my fault they called me first.

“Well I WANT that seat!”

Good for you. So do I.

“Well I have places to go!”

What? And I just enjoy sitting in airports all day? We all have places to go … that’s the point of traveling. That's why we're at the airport!

Just cuz you want something doesn’t mean you’re gonna get it.

I want a cheese cave. I’m not getting a cheese cave. I’m at peace with that. You are not getting this seat.

“But I want it”

Well too bad!

OK ... maybe I shouldn't have taunted Angry Old Lady, but you get the point ... life ain't perfect. Deal with it.

And quit getting upset and offended over everything you don’t like or agree with … you stinkin’ prudes!

Till next time Diary … I say ... goodbye.