Zack's Anger Diary: Jerky Kids' TV Shows

Dear Diary …

Today I would like to officially lodge my complaint with kids’ television shows. And no, I refuse to sound like grumpy old coot that’s going to say things like "The kids today watch crap. In my day, the TV shows were way better."

No. I’m not gonna say that, because I know my shows, in my day, were crap too. Don’t agree with me? Go back and watch the Smurfs. It’s rubbish.

So it's fine ... I don't expect the kids' TV shows today to be any good. But what I do expect is for these shows to at least try to teach kids something positive. And if they aren’t going to do that … then at the very least I want them to do nothing … because nothing would still better than teaching them bad behavior. Unfortunately, too many of these shows teach them to be naughty.

Take the other day … my kids are watching Dora the Explorer. And you're probably thinking, "Oh but that’s a good show because kids learn Spanish and also coping skills with how to deal when you hear the same song repeated over and over and over again like "I’m the map I’m the map, I’m the map."

"I’m the map!""

OK great … you’re the map. I get it. Shhhh!

Anyway … their little lessons are all well and good, but this Swiper character who everything that’s wrong in this world.

Now Diary … if you don’t know Swiper … and you are SO much luckier than me if you don’t … He’s the jerky little fox that tries to steal everything in every episode.

Like the one that the kids are watching ... there’s these two trolls getting ready for their wedding. And Swiper … he tries to swipe the bride’s bouquet. Oh no no no … don’t be messing with the bride on her big day. So they catch him, and they do their whole

"Swiper no swiping!" And he goes "Oh man!" And he's caught red handed. And then what do they say?

"See you at the wedding party Swiper!"


He tried to steal the bouquet … he doesn’t get to go to the party! How’s he ever gonna learn to stop being such a jerk?

You're totally enabling him.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is the same thing … Sneaky Pete is constantly trying to screw over the Clubhouse gang. And what do they do? Invite him to every party, every sleepover. I mean … the guy tried to charge a toll to Santa in the Choo Choo Express episode. Dude tries to fleece Santa Claus … and what does he get? Presents for Christmas!

And you wonder why kids today behave terribly? They learn it from their little cartoon Gods. Hey kids … Act awful and hopefully you’ll get away with it … but even if you don’t … well your stupid friends will still let you hang out with them and you take advantage of them again next time.

You think Grand Theft Auto is the problem? Nope. Dora. She’s the one snowing all of us. Evil little hoochie.

Till next time Diary … I say, goodbye.