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Zack's Anger Diary: Where's My Stinkin' Dot?

May 13, 2014

 

Dear Diary …

 

OK … now I know I’ve harped on this before, but this time I feel like we have a month until Father’s Day, which is plenty of time to get it right. And here’s the issue …

 

So Sunday was Mother’s Day. Now ... I got my wife, got my mother, and they’re just being showered in all things Momma.

We got cards, we got gifts, my neighbor and I planned this whole elaborate dinner get together where the Moms could all just sit and enjoy while we did all the work.

 

And on top of that, even though all of those other things were happening, the day before Mother’s Day my women are all ... "Well aren’t we going to have Mother’s Day breakfast?" <sigh> OK ... So I’m making pancakes, and eggs, and bacon … and of course … can’t ask Mom to do dishes on her day, so I’m doing those too.

 

And let me be clear … I’m not complaining. I don't mind doing all of it. I’m just setting the scene of the elaborate display that was going down on Mother’s Day for what happens next.

 

At dinner time, I’m talking with my neighbor … another Dad … and we’re just talking about Father’s Day and how it’ll be right around the corner, and what we might wanna do. But ... off the top of our heads, we didn’t know the exact date for Father’s Day this year. So I pull out my phone … open the calendar … and this is what happens …

 

You know how when you look on a calendar, they’ll be little dots on certain days? And these dots, that's the calendar's way of saying "Hey heads up, this is a special day!" You click on that dot and it tells you what the day is. Christmas, of course, has a dot. Thanksgiving has a dot. Mother’s Day has a dot.

 

So I go to June … no dot! No mention of Father’s Day anywhere! Oh and I take it back … June does have a dot … Flag Day.

Father’s Day ain’t got no dot, but Flag Day … oh yeah … that has a stinkin’ dot on it. What do you even do on Flag Day?

What the heck is this?

 

It got me all furious at my phone … how dare you not put a dot on Father’s Day? And you wonder why we leave!

OK … maybe that’s a LITTLE extreme, but it is kinda the reality that we men are just sloughed off as way less important members of the household. Nobody wants to feel less important, especially borderline wild animals like us dudes.

 

And I know … you carried the baby for nine months. You went thru 937 hours of labor. Blah blah blah. I’m not discounting any of those things. But ... when you went thru all of those things, who was there for you? Us dudes! And let’s be honest with each other here for a second … you were kinda hard to get along with during those times, and we were still there for you.

 

And now … when you want mulch … who puts down the mulch? Dad. Who has to go plunge the toilet when it’s clogged?

Dad! (True, we may have been the source of said clog, but not the point! We unclog your clogs too).

 

Point is … we may not be as glorious as the all-powerful magnificent piles of estrogen that you are, but we're not lousy either. So here you go … Father’s Day is June 15th. There’s no dot on that day, but that’s when it is. You have one month … start planning … cuz if for nothing other than just this one year … we want all the same over the top barf that you get on Mother’s Day for Father’s Day. Since you ladies are so freakin' awesome, I’m confident that you can make this happen.

 

Thank you in advance.


Till next time Diary … I say ... Goodbye.

 

 

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